Welcome Konoha's first annual beauty pageant
by littlewolf123
Summary: Kaonoha is hosting a beauty pageant, but not just any beauty pageant. It's for boys only! Hilarious! See Neji, Sasuke, NAruto, Shikamaru, and Shino? In a dress and wearing makeup.


**_AN: This is when Sasuke didn't betray Konoha and stuff. Some of the characters are OCC, but I tried to make them in character. Enjoy!_**

Neji was walking alone through a street in Konoha. He was minding his business, really… he didn't ask for any excitement, or any unusual behaviors, but did he always get what he want? No! True to his predictions, he saw a people crowding in front of a bulletin board.

'Did we even have a bulletin board?' He thought. He shook his head and went to check what the commotion was about.

As he got closer, he heard girls squealing, "Oh, my, gosh, this is going to be so fun. I can't wait to see this." He distinctly heard the word 'pageant' and almost turned back… almost.

When he pushed and shoved past the people, he saw a piece of paper stapled to the wall. As he read the piece of paper, his face turned pale:

**Konoha Gakure's First Annual Male Only Beauty Pageant!**

**Simple, easy, and fun!**

**Anyone can enter between the ages 12 and up**

**Prize: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 yen + a gold trophy & sash to the first place**

**(For forms, ask for it at the Hokage's office)**

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????????????????????"

He ran quickly to tell others this horrifying news. The first one he came across was Naruto.

"Hey Neji!" Naruto waved. "Naruto, have you read the bulletin board yet?"

"Naruto shook his head and said, no, what bulletin board? I never knew we had one. Where is it?" He inquired.

"Never mind that" Neji said. "Naruto, there's going to be a beauty pageant in Konoha!" He said.

"What? A beauty pageant? Cool! We get to see girls in their bathing suits." He said dreamily while imagining well ahem (I wouldn't want to mention anything, so I'll leave it up to your imagination.)

"NO!" Neji said impatiently, breaking Naruto's perverted thoughts. "It's not that kind of pageant, Naruto! It's for males only!"

"…" There was a stunned silence. "What? Why would they do that?" Naruto whined. "I don't want to see guys with their bathing suits. It's boring!"

"I know, Neji said patiently. That's why we have to tell the others and complain to the Hokage."

"Yosh!" Naruto said. "Let's not waste any time, lets go!" Soon, they round up all the shinobis and were marching to the Hokage's office. There were 8 guys in all; Neji, Naruto, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sasuke, Rock Lee, Shino, and Kiba.

They knocked on the door and entered. Tsunade was in her desk, working on something and looked up when she heard someone entering. When she saw the boys, she smiled.

"Oh hello. May I help you?"

"Hokage-sama! What is the meaning of this?" Neji demanded her showing her the "pageant paper"

"Oh, so I see you know about the pageant." She said nodding her head knowingly. "Are you all here to sign up for the pageant?" She asked after a moment.

"No, obaa-chan! We came to complain. What the heck do you mean by a male only beauty pageant? Why can't we be normal and hold a girl's beauty pageant like the Hidden Cloud Village?" Naruto demanded.

Tsunade sighed, "are you sure you don't want to sign up? The deadline is tomorrow and frankly we don't have any volunteers." She informed them.

"That's a good thing isn't it?" Asked Shikamaru. sigh "Mendokusei… Why am I even here?" He mumbled softly under his breath. Suddenly, Tsunade's face lit up and she gave the boys a very smile that crept them out.

"What?" They said as they moved towards the door and tried heading out.

"Well, since we have no volunteers, and you are here, why don't you guys sign up?" She said grinning like a cheasure cat.

"What? We already said no!" Said Neji. But Tsunade continued to smile.

"Well, you forget that I'm the Hokage." She informed them. "If you don't sign up, I'll personally make sure that none of you will pass the chunin exam." She threatened.

Neji looked back and saw that the only ones remaining were a very peeved Sasuke, Shikamaru, Naruto, and himself. 'Shit.' He cursed under his breath.

"All right, boys, I'll see you next Monday for practice!" Tsunade said as she waved the four goodbye.

Next Monday:

The five very reluctant boys came sulking in to Tsunade's office and saw a very surprising sight there. The sand siblings were inside talking to Tsunade. Tsunade had spotted them and waved them over.

"Neji, Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru! You remember Gaara, right? Guess what? He has agreed to join the pageant!" There was a shocked silence and all of a sudden, Naruto started to laugh.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! G… Gaara in a p… pageant?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's hilarious!" Naruto laughed while rolling on the floor clutching his stomach in pain as tears rolled down his face. All of a sudden, from no where, he thought he sensed a murdering vibe sent towards him. He wondered how this was so because he hasn't done anything wrong, and he was innocent.

The others were sweat dropping at Naruto although they thought it was pretty funny themselves, they valued their lives enough not to laugh. How she got him to agree, well, it was a mystery.

"Ok, so this is how it's going to work." Announced Tsunade. "There were some volunteers who has agreed to tutor you how to walk, talk, and feel like a model. And yes, you will have to wear a dress…well, a couple of dresses, for some of you, it won't really make a difference," she said as she glanced at Sasuke, and Neji, "but we'll get to that later, for now, let me introduce you to your new teachers."

The boys nearly fainted when they saw their fellow koniochi teammates enter the room. There stood Sakura, Ino, Ten Ten, Hinata, and…Shino?

"All right, Sakura will teach you how to put on make-up, Ino will teach you what looks good on you and what doesn't, she'll also teach you how to walk on stage. Ten Ten will be in charge of choreography and personal hygiene and sanitation. And Hinata will be taking pictures and doing some backstage interviews, got it?"

"What is Shino's job then?" Asked Naruto.

"I'm the manager." He replied.

"Well, then ladies… and gentlemen," she added after eyeing Shino, "I'll leave them in your capable hands." Tsunade told the four girls. "And if they don't behave, tell me and I'll deal with them accordingly." She told them with a smirk, looking at the boys.

The boys gulped as they felt that they had just lost their self-respect.

After Tsunade went, the girls squealed. "I can't believe, you guys signed up! It's going to be so much fun!" Ino said while setting up the equipments.

"I'll get to see Sasuke-kun in a dress!" Squealed Sakura. All, right, now let's get down to business ladies. Ten Ten said as Hinata agreed.

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"No! Sway your hips a little!" Said Ino as she was instructing Sasuke how to walk on stage.

Sasuke growled in frustration. "Does it matter how I walk?" He asked Ino. Of course it does!" She retorted back. "It matters a hell lot! Now, stop arguing with me and do what you're told! Now, put your back straight, head tall, and sway your hips. No, not like that!"

"You said to sway it!" Sasuke said irritated.

"Not that much! Just a little bit." said Ino. "Watch how I do it." She gave a little demonstration and looked at Sasuke. "Got it?" She asked him. "Now, remember to keep your face straight, and for kami-sama's sake, will it kill you to smile?" She asked.

Sasuke tried to force a smile that ended up looking like he was snarling. "Maybe." Was his reply.

sigh "we're going to do this until you get it right. Now, swish your hips, side to side as you walk. Yes, there you go, just like that, wait, no! You don't…" They seemed to be getting well.

With Neji:

"Neji! Stop squirming and pay attention. You have to do this by yourself soon you know." Said a frustrated Sakura. "Stop making faces you big wuss! It doesn't hurt at all."

"That's what you think." Mumbled Neji.

"Now let's see how you look." She scrutinized his face very closely which made him feel uncomfortable and when he was uncomfortable, he squirmed. "Wow, Neji, you look really pretty." she told him. "With that long hair, you look like an actual girl."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" He asked her. She laughed.

"It's a compliment, you loser." She told him.

"Here, I'll show you how to put on make-up by yourself. You add some powder on your face, then this blush. Then you put on this eye-liner and some mascara won't kill you. You also add some of this cherry-strawberry lipstick and some clear lip-gloss after wards. Then you add…." Neji sweat dropped. 'So many make-ups…' were all he thought.

Meanwhile with Gaara:

"Now, let's see your nails, Gaara." Said Ten Ten. Gaara reluctantly showed her his dirt caked nails. She gasped in horror. "What is this? Your hands are so dirty! Come on, we have to wash this filthy dirt-thingy away." She dragged him towards the sink and turned on the water faucet.

Gaara looked at Ten Ten blankly.

"Don't tell me you don't know how to wash your hands?" She asked him.

He nodded. Eww! How can you stand to be so dirty? Do you even take showers?" "I do take showers. When I take showers, my hands get clean but I've never actually cleaned my hands alone." He informed her.

"Oh. Ok then I'll instruct you. Rinse your hands in the water and try to get some of the dirt off your hands." He obeyed and started to brush off some of the bigger dirts in his hands.

"Next, get the soap and spread it all over your hands. Next brush your hands together and sing the happy birthday song once. That's what my teacher told me how long it takes germs to come off of my hands. But in your case, lets sing it twice."

And they started to sing, "Happy birthday to me, Happy birth day to me, Happy Birth…"

With Shikamaru:

"Uh… Nara-san. I need to interview you so… uh… c…can I ask you s…some q…questions?" He just nodded. "All right, um… whatmadeyoujoinupforthispageant?"

"Huh?" He asked.

She blushed crimson. "Ah, G…Gomen!"

H: "What made you join up for this pageant?"

S: "The Hokae-Sama threatened us"

H: "Do you like being in the pageant?"

S: "Like I said, …. Ugh! Just forget it, yes, I just LOVE being in the pageant." (anybody noticed the sarcasm?)

H: "What is your favorite thing about the pageant?"

S: "Uh, being able to get the prize money?"

H: "If there is one thing you would like to change about the pageant, what would it be?"

S: "The "Male Only" part of the pageant"

"Uh…"said Hinata while sweat dropping at the answers she was getting from him.

AN: That's all for now! Hope you have enjoyed it! Feel free to review and give some helpful/constructive criticisms!


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